Standing for Something

I saw a news story that simultaneously saddened and angered me. There is a man, Dan Savage, who is (among other things) the founder of the 'It Gets Better' movement for young gay people who feel that they are bullied, ostracized, etc. I agree with one of the goals of this movement which is to help young people to feel that no matter what their situation at the moment, things will get better. I do not, however, agree with most of the vulgar and sexually explicit ways that Mr. Savage expresses himself or portrays sexuality for young people.

But that is neither here nor there.

What I object to is what Mr. Savage did at a high school journalism convention in front of over 1,000 young journalism students.

The premise of his forum (he was the keynote speaker) was to highlight bullying and most students attending were most likely in attendance to learn how they could help shed light on the sad epidemic of bullying in their own schools through their respective publications. Ironically, this anti-bullying forum turned into a bigoted, anti-Christianity rant which ultimately resulted in some students being verbally bullied by this man.

On a personal note, I was publicly bullied by a teacher when I was a sophomore in high school when I challenged a premise that he was presenting as fact that flew in the face of my beliefs and scientific evidence. I know the feeling of having an adult ridicule a young person in public while the majority of the classmates sit silently by. It is not a good feeling. But at the same time, it was an unforgettable experience for me and a turning point in my personal convictions.

Some of the young people in that room had a similar experience when they stood up and quietly left the room in silent protest to the profanity-laced insults to their beliefs. I applaud them for peacefully defending their beliefs.

Sadder still, Mr. Savage could not just let them quietly leave, but he began to insult them using very immature, profane language.

We do not all share the same belief system. That's why America is so great. We are free to choose what we believe, what we say and do not say, what we will do with our lives, as long as we do not use that freedom to infringe upon the rights or liberty of others. I do not agree with the vast majority of what Mr. Savage says or does, but I do respect his right to say and do those things.

And in return, I expect that same level of respect.

My principles and values are every bit as valid as Mr. Savage's, yet I would never dream of unleashing a profane tirade against him, much less against a young person with the same views. But I do believe I have an obligation to stand for those values with firmness, even if it means being mocked or ridiculed.

As mothers, we must teach our children to always stand for their beliefs, no matter how hard it is. Mr. Savage claimed that he was beaten for being gay in the name of Christianity and the Bible, therefore felt justified in his bigotry. Well, I have a daughter who is relentlessly bullied by one race of girls at her school, so would that justify her unleashing a racist tirade?

Of course not.

There are good people of all races, religions, ethnic backgrounds, sexual orientations, etc. And that is what I try to teach my children each day, fighting the incessant tides of negativity to which they are exposed. A truly well educated, well adjusted person is one that can look differences in the eye, not be swayed by trends in popularity or pop culture, and hold fast in their beliefs while respecting the beliefs of others.

I applaud those young people who refused to be victims of verbal bullying and walked out of that room, despite being publicly mocked and degraded. I applaud their parents for teaching them to stand for something. I hope that my children will have the courage to do the same. Because in a world that increasingly targets values and beliefs, that time will inevitably come.